Animal Riddles:

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What do you get if you cross a beagle with bread dough?
Answer: Dog biscuits.
What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
Answer: A south paw.
What animal uses a nutcracker?
Answer: A toothless squirrel!
What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones?
Answer: Hush puppies!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Answer: It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not gonna come.
What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
Answer: Dingo Starr!
What do you call a great dog detective?
Answer: Sherlock Bones.
What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Answer: Cockerpoodledoo!
What goes \Tick tock, woof woof\?
Answer: A watch dog.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
Answer: A dog that runs for help ... after he bites your leg off.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
Answer: You can step in a poodle.
What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school?
Answer: A pet degree.
What is a little dog's favorite drink?
Answer: Pupsi-cola.
What do you get if an Airedale floats too close to the sun?
Answer: A hot dog.
What kind of dog chases anything red?
Answer: A Bulldog.
What kind of dog floats in the air?
Answer: An Airedale.
What is more impressive than a talking dog?
Answer: A spelling bee.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Answer: Terrier-fied!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
Answer: A Bloodhound.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Answer: Right where you left him.
Which side of a dog has the most hair?
Answer: The outside.
Where do young dogs sleep when they camp out?
Answer: Pup Tents.
Who is a dogs favorite comedian?
Answer: Growlcho Marx.
Where should you never take a dog?
Answer: To a flea market.
Who gave the dog a black eye?
Answer: Nobody gave it to him. He had to fight for it.
Which dog tastes better when eaten?
Answer: A hot dog.
Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
Answer: The tomato was in a can.
Why did the dog run in circles?
Answer: He was a watchdog and needed winding.
Why are dogs such poor dancers?
Answer: They have two left feet.
Why did the dog jump up and down on the potato patch?
Answer: He hoped to raise mashed potatoes.
Why did the dog jump off the Empire State Building?
Answer: He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.
Why did the dog say he was an actor?
Answer: His leg was in a cast.
Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?
Answer: One good turn deserves another.
Why did the dog wear a watch?
Answer: He wanted to be a watch dog.
Why do firefighters need Dalmatians?
Answer: To help them find the fire hydrants.
Why did the little boy name his new dog Computer?
Answer: Because it came with lots of bytes.
Why does a dog scratch himself?
Answer: Because no one else knows where it itches.
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Answer: Because frost bites.
What horse never goes out in the day time?
Answer: A night mare.
What did the dog say to the little child pulling his tail?
Answer: That is the end of me!
What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper?
Answer: RUFF.
Why don't pigs drive cars?
Answer: They would become road hogs.
What happens to the duck who flies upside down?
Answer: He quacks up!
Where do animals go when they lose their tails?
Answer: To a retail store.
Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Answer: Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
Why don't pigs drive cars?
Answer: They would become road hogs.
What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Answer: Skin diving.
What is the smartest kind of bee?
Answer: A spelling bee.
Who designed Noah's ark?
Answer: An ark-itect.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
Answer: With a monkey wrench.
Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?
Answer: He doesn't believe in dogs.
What is the best year for a kangaroo?
Answer: Leap year.
What kind of food does a race horse eat?
Answer: Fast food.
Why did the police arrest the bird?
Answer: Because he was a robin.
Why was the pig thrown out of the football game?
Answer: For playing dirty.
How do you know when the fish is fresh?
Answer: When they bite your fingers.
What is a snake's favorite ice cream?
Answer: Hiss-tachio.
What happened when the centipede broke all his feet?
Answer: He did not have a leg to stand on.
How do you bake a cake for Lassie?
Answer: You start with collie flour.
What kind of birds are most frequently found in captivity?
Answer: Jailbirds.
Where do rabbits go to have their eyes examined?
Answer: To the hop-tometrist.
What do hens study in college?
Answer: Egg - onomics.
What is the snappiest snake?
Answer: A garter snake.
What bird never goes to a barber?
Answer: A bald eagle.
Why are spiders like tops?
Answer: Because they spin.
What is black and yellow and goes zzub,zzub?
Answer: A bee flying backwards.
What is a foreign ant?
Answer: Import - ant.
How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
Answer: Melon-collie!
What kind of leopard has red spots?
Answer: One who has the measles.
Why are mosquitoes so annoying?
Answer: Because they get under our skin.
Which fish are the brightest?
Answer: Sunfish.
How is a dog like a penny?
Answer: They both have a head and a tail.
When is a dog's tail not a dog's tail?
Answer: When it's a waggin'.
What animal doesn't play fair?
Answer: The Cheetah.
Jennifer went swimming and saw a shark in the water with her, but she wasn't afraid! Why not?
Answer: Because it was a man-eating shark.
What is the principal part of a horse?
Answer: The mane part.
What bone will a dog never eat?
Answer: A trombone.
What kind of bandit steals cats?
Answer: A purr-snatcher.
What do bees do with all their honey?
Answer: They Cell it.
Why do cows wear bells?
Answer: Because their horns don't work.
What animal drops from the clouds?
Answer: The rein-deer.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide.
Which animal talks the most?
Answer: The yak.

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